8 thoughts on “OH Ellie- Part 1 by Emilea

  1. Hi Emilea,
    I am a teacher with a Year 3/4/5/6 class. I have just read the beginning of your story and I am very impressed. I especially like some of the powerful verbs you have chosen: spluttered, murmured, sprinted, sobbed, sped… they make your story really interesting for the reader.

    I am looking forward to reading the next installment!

    In September I will be teaching children in a year 2/3 class and I am hoping to set up a class blog. What is the best thing about your school/class blog or about the way your teacher uses it?

    Mrs Preece-Dawson

  2. I could really picture your story happening Emilea. Well done for using lots of powerful verbs and adjectives, because they brought it to life. Like Dominic I’m interested to find out what happens. If you include all your full stops it will make it even easier to read for me.

  3. I love the way you have built up the suspense in this story. It really hooked me in and made me want to read more. I hope you’ll be posting more of your story so I can find out what happens next.

  4. Hi Emilea, I’m an English teacher at a secondary school in Somerset and I’m very impressed by your writing skills. In fact, I wish that all my Year 10 and 11 students could use paragraphs as well as you can!

    Well done and keep writing!

  5. Hello, Emilia.

    This is a brilliant beginning to your story. You have developed a mystery and left the reader in suspense. A good writing technique when you want readers to return is to “leave them hanging”. Now we need to wait to see what has happened to Ellie. Well done.

    @RossMannell
    Teacher, NSW, Australia

  6. Pingback: Oh Ellie- Part 2 – by Emilea. « Pass The Blog

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